Sup.
There are opportunities I willingly don't take.
I'll go back in my mind and relive times I should have pushed myself.
Even as a student at CSULB. I remember procrastinating until the weekend of, often that Sunday, writing something due Monday. And yeah, that's a college thing, but for me, it was the stress of getting to work, not that I was out hanging out with people. I'd be home, dreading getting work done, watching TV. Writing is fun to me, but even I'm like, why would you put yourself through that stress!
I still do that to myself.
Checking my email gives me stress. Things like the Google Mail app are helpful because I've turned notifications on and the mail rolls in and I read whatever is important...But I committed to speaking to a group of...social workers! I am nervous and thinking why do you always say yes before thinking things through!! Subconsciously I must be thinking, "Dude! You won't do it otherwise." I spent two weeks avoiding doublechecking my email for some sort of communication from these folks. Nothing, thank goodness! But, it's gonna come!
So I have to commit to not allowing my dread of commitment from stopping me from getting things done!
When I was younger, I was a very messy person. One of the worst. One time my mother cleaned my room and snooped and, made me feel terrible 'cus she threw away my things. Things she deemed inappropriate. Dumb teenager things that meant something to my teenage heart. I worried she had found my diary. I became much cleaner after that, but her actions made our relationship worse. Think twice before sneaking around your child's stuff, like I get it, but she was so proud of herself, I walked in from school after a long day, and I knew it was bad. Like that was the energy she had. She had a big smirk. The room looked great, but I felt like I had less and less personal space in the family. Just try to be kind to the people you love, respect them enough to speak to them directly about the things that bother you. Calmly, I know every situation is different, but before it boils over, communicate.
Sorry I went off into that story and its too good to erase :) Please forgive me.
Self sabotage can come in many ways. mine is getting in the way of my own success. She warned me many times I should have cleaned my room and I ignored it. I sabotaged my success because I ended up ripping my diary up!! I could have written a book out of that! So much lost content!
Ahhh, the past, it is time to move forward. Let's Go!!
Have an insightful Day!
-Kathy