4/26/21
I have a phone appointment with my therapist today. Silver lining....that I can speak to her just a few days after my PMDD episode. I wanted to cancel, but I'm sticking to it. Emotions are something I don't want to feel tooo heightened. It hurts to feel.
4/28/21
I take an intake survey before each therapy session, my scores were low. It reflected the rough last week I've had.
Two weeks ago Elsa and I spoke about writing, I intentionally asked if I should write the bad too, she said yes.
Turns out that writing isn't the right tool for me, at least not just writing what is on my mind. My thoughts can be toxic and bring me to a depressive state. Instead, she suggested I write about topics, good things, or do other activities. I need to stop focusing on all the bad things that my mind wants me to focus on. Elsa gave me a list of things to use as tools to give my mood a break, to break the hold it has on my brain. I made nature artwork as a gift for my husband's birthday. I'll take pictures when he opens it.
The BIG takeaway this week is:
MIND OVER MOOD - I need to take control of how I feel, and thus need to take control of what I do. This is hard, but I need to take inventory of my home, my lifestyle. Staying in a positive headspace is not enough, I have to actively seek ways to release the energy and make space for me.
Thanks for reading :)