Just took a shower. Washed my face. Shaved around my eyebrows to give them some sort of shape. Small Victories, you know?
I was thinking about the past two days. Looking at where I could have done more to help myself.
I noticed I sang today. I sing a lot, more than I should, since I can't sing. Jazzy turns to me and says, "I love your song." That felt good. Felt like me.
A list of things I can do:
*Writing: Just write. Take a moment to take was is inside of your head, out. (Update) But if your writing is negative, stop. Try something else, we'll learn new ways to express ourselves together. If you find writing helpful, please write...Give yourself time to re-read what you wrote. Look at the difference in your mind set, from one day to the next. You are not your thoughts...I need a permanent place for my laptop. Thinking of turning on a laptop to write my feelings isn't something that comes easily with a set up. I did write in my journal. The words were sad, mean and dreadful to read back. I know I don't want that aspect of my PMDD, the constant negative talk. It takes me to a mindset of me against everyone, even myself. Nothing but my anger shows.
*Music: Music is love. The feel good, the rhythm, escape. I've shared some songs bellow.
*Breathing: Take in a deep breath for 4 seconds, hold it for 4 seconds, and release it for 4 seconds. Focus on your breathing to allow yourself to focus on something else...This part I need to implement into my day to day life. Maybe then when things go wrong it feels natural and not forced. I need to give breathing time.
*Help: Asking for it. This can be hard. It took me years to ask for help, I had to change doctors and spiraled into PMDD episodes monthly, 13 days before my period, like clockwork. I had to get to work charting my periods, I'll share the apps I use in another post. Please speak to a doctor, your significant other. PMDD can become a lonely, awful place.
Time: Walk away, breath...For me, this can be rough, being alone can spiral me into deeper depression. Before medication I would go to my room, sit on the floor and cry and feel unable to shake it. With medication, I spent less time alone during my episode. That is an improvement.