No tears today.
eh!!! eh!!!
<3
There are things in life we cannot control. And that is OK. I cannot fault myself for that!!!
I burned sage all day, burning one entire sage bundle and one Palo Santo stick 'cus I need to get rid of the bad vibes, or at least say, "What's up, I'm here, too!" Major bonus in that they help me relax, and they smell beautiful.
During my session with my therapist, Elsa, we talked about anger and how it can express itself in many ways. For example, frustration, overwhelmed, hurt, stress, tired, guilt, shame...
But what I need to focus on is how I deal with my feelings before the anger turns into things I wish to take back.
I need to be the one in control.
Not allow my anger to control me.
She suggested writing, which interestingly enough I did yesterday when I was upset about my neighbors. She also suggested new hobbies. I'd been thinking about doing more photography, and guess what, I just posted some pictures as well. She also suggested exercising, I have been exercising, but not as consistent as I should be. I'll post more on that soon.
Elsa also told me we would be ending treatment in the next month. I have two more sessions with her and then we'd be done. The remaining sessions will focus on maintenance and a plan for the future. I was so happy to hear that. The person I was when I first sought help is not the Chica you read about today. I used to cry, cuss and be depressed daily. On some days I wished I was dead because my head and my heart just couldn't agree. It was a push and pull of good and bad days. How thankful I am. Even with the bullshit, I am free.