(warning) Sad Post - PMDD Episode (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder)

yesterday was not a good day for me. 

It felt bitter.

I wish I hadn't let myself get the best of me. 

Sounds nutty but it's a fight between my rational side and my anger, depression and dreadful thoughts. 

My trigger was small, yet big. 

I blamed, I cried, I wanted to run away. 


I wondered why the fuck I was even made. 

I hated myself, my life, my existence. 


My innermost desire is to be happy. 

Yesterday that felt unattainable. 

Only for normal folks. 


Today is better.

But I'm not me, yet. 

A cloud hangs over me.