I was supposed to see my brother on Tuesday. I was still upset about our covid texts. Over the years I have coped with fears by ruminating. Just playing scenarios in my head. Lately, I'm trying to listen to my body, and how it reacts to situations.
A huge red flag was how I felt after speech therapy. It didn't go as well as I had hoped it might. I decided no more internet speech therapy for Jazzy, too many distractions. We'll start in person therapy next week.
On Tuesday, I was feeling upset about my relations with my brother. I did not want him to come over. I don't know if he should have a space in my heart/life. I think he has a lot of work to do on himself. I think he needs to find himself. I felt uneasy thinking about his visit. I don't want to feel like that. I feel sorry this is happening. We don't believe in the same of anything...
I'll pause here,
love,
Kat