Today I have been calmer, but, drum roll please....
I got upset about the disorder at home. That kinda sent into this spiral of frustration.
I leave it to see if it gets dealt with by any member of the family.
It doesn't. I've set myself up this way before.
Today's trigger was (oh mannnn) the play station remote and giant headphones being left out, on the couch. Jazzy got to them. She got a time out in her crib (with books and toys, and me thinking it's a "time out"). And I angrily began to power-clean the living room.
But back to me....(I'm revising this and I'm just ashamed)
Like, man! I gave you a bag, I asked you to put it away a multitude of times...
....
See, the thing is that this happens often. I set them up to fail.
Everyone is busy with their own lives, basically.
I'm the one at home and my enviroment is our chaos. It's hard for me to stay tidy the entire month. Around my ovulation and even during my period I go out of commission. It's the entire time, but a few days out of the month, I feel like I did yesterday.
So I started to wash the dishes, put away MY clothes, the pettier part is coming, and put them on my bed to be put away later. The rest of the clothes? I just threw into the restroom and shut the door.
Shake your heads with me, noooooo.
I'll fix all that. Put things away, tidy up. Start dinner.
Today will be better than yesterday, better than the day before. I've often had one difficult day and then another but less, and so on. I'm trying to remind myself to not react. To think about what I am doing and to make the best choice. I'm lauging. It's not funny, just a resignation that I'm finally dealing with a big issue, that I thought I had more in control. I am not that person all the time, and with changes things will get better.
Hope everyone is doing lovely,
Kathy