Staying at home with my children has put a financial strain on us. At times I question my choices. But, over five years later, and having gone through all my savings, I think it has been the best choice. It hasn't been easy, but my children don't see it. They live their lives, happily.
Two weeks ago I was grocery shopping. I had a strict budget. I had to choose between buying and not buying a box of tampons. It's the first time I have ever had to think about that. I looked at the prices. I looked at the absorbency. I thought about my budget. I almost thought about not getting them, and just figuring it out. Luckily, I put myself first and bought them. Leaving the grocery store with only cents in my account is something many families go through. It is something that is happening more often to me. A new normal that I have to work with and strive to change. I'm trying to budget more. Really look at the items I am purchasing. I'm good with saving and budgeting, but food prices and gas prices really hit hard when they fluctuate.
I only write about this so that we may think more about others that are going through difficult times. Choosing between personal hygiene and food is such a lonely feeling. You feel alone at that moment, deep in your thoughts. And when the total are coming in at checkout, I feel anxious. What if I go over? What do I pay with? What do I put back? Thankfully I haven't been there yet. I'll take .37 left in the bank anytime.
Today is my mom's birthday. We went out for breakfast with my parents, brother and Jazzy. Had a lovely time. Thankful that they are here. Thankful they care. Last night I was thinking about what to do with the kids this weekend. I figured we'd be hitting the parks, and a lot of counting my pennies to make it an enjoyable weekend for my children.
As we are saying good byes in the parking lot, my dad hands me money and says to me, "So you guys have a nice dinner somewhere." I cry because we don't have much, and this money helps with groceries and a sweet treat later this hot weekend.
Count your blessings, fam. Love your life. It may be shit sometimes, but little miracles happen. It may just be that butterfly flying by, or that bird poo that hits your right shoulder as you walk.
Have a wonderful weekend,
Kathy