My babies latch was perfect. From the beginning he rooted towards my breast, learned to suck and held on. I had no idea if things were going well, but the nurses and doctors seemed happy by what they saw. My son seemed to want to eat often and everyone saw that as signs of a healthy appetite.
I was able to speak to my lactation consultant the Thursday I delivered my son, as well as a quick visit on Friday. She came in and checked on my breasts and his latch. I don't recall her grabbing my breasts and forcing out milk. My main concern was managing the C-Section discomfort and finding a comfortable position for breastfeeding. This took some trial and error and lots of help from my husband.
(I'll attach a handy picture at the bottom)
My son and I were released on Saturday afternoon. Before our departure I attempted to contact my lactation consultant. I left her a voicemail. I later found out she had taken Saturday off.
A wheelchair came to pick me up at the hospital room. On our way to the car I saw moms walking around to induce labor. Many family members waiting. Outside, I waited for my husband to bring his truck to the front. I chatted with the nurse. My son was placed in his car seat by his daddy and off we went.
Getting in and out of the car was painful. But everything seemed great. I rode in the back with my son. He looked small. He was quiet. We got home and maybe we napped. I also took pain medication prescribed by the doctor. I fed my son, and soon the afternoon turned to evening. I remember feeding him throughout the night.
We had our first baby-well visit the next day, Sunday. But, we forgot to set our alarm! Turns out that same day was daylights saving time. Grrrr. We were over two hours late!
It took us 30 minutes to get to the visit.
Once there we were quickly seen. Our first time at doctors office! It was exciting! Two new parents figuring things out. Happy. Nervous. Anxious. Carrying and loving. Exactly is it should be.
We waited for the doctor to come in. She informed us that there seemed to be a problem with my son's weight. He weighed less that day at the doctors office, than when he left the hospital. Although a fluctuation in babies weight was expected, he had lost too much weight.
The horrible truth was that this mommy had not been making enough milk for her son. Tears flow right now. The pain wont go away. It's lessened over time, as he grew, my heart healed.
Due to not making enough breast milk, my son was severely dehydrated. This is where my son getting jaundice differs from so many other cases. My son was sick because I was not making enough breastmilk to nourish him. Due to this, he was not excreting and/or peeing enough to release bilirubin from his liver. Since this had been happening since my son was born (not making enough breastmilk) he had been malnourished for some time.
By the time we arrived at the doctors, he was not crying or moving very much. Had we not visited the doctor's office that day, my son would have likely gone into seizures and could have suffered brain damage. That day was beyond words. This post took so long, because, I just couldn't. My big guy, running around, "reading on his own," demanding the world!...was once a fragile little guy, who I could have lost. I blame(d) myself so may times. So sad that this was happening to us. I had a breech baby, a sucky Version, a C-Section!! And now, I can't make milk.
Unfortunately it got a little worse. In order to know his bilirubin count they had to poke his heel but it started with his tiny arm. The incompetence I experienced at the hands of Kaiser laboratory that day was overwhelmingly disappointing. 3 laboratory technicians couldn't find his veins, but tried anyway! And then they couldn't poke his heel correctly. A bunch of freakin' amateurs! It was a tough experience for all of us!
To help nourish him and raise his body weight, he was placed on a formula and breastmilk diet. I was never able to make much milk. Only 2-3oz of breast milk on my right breast and 1-3oz on my left, for the entire time I breastfed. Never enough :(
At the time I was tough for my son. But I was in pain, still, I was there for him first. The pain didn't matter. Honestly, my heart was in worse shape. For 3 days and 2 nights he was under
bili lights and on a
"biliblanket" to help stabilize his bilirubin levels. Those two use phototherapy to break down bilirubin in the bloodstream so that the body can rid itself of it through pee or stool. It worked and three days later all three of us felt much better.
Thankfully that all passed.
He's a healthy guy!
-km
P.S. Once we were at home, about 6 days after having my son, the lactation consultant calls me to follow up. She left me a voicemail. I never got back to her. She was a nice person. But she was not vigilant enough. Although Kaiser Permanente promotes a "skin-to-skin" attitude, and I was very much into it, the possibility of not making enough breastmilk was never addressed. The possibility is very real! In my case it has was all about my
breast! I'll get into my specifics in a
later post.
Thank you for reading.
Helpful Links:
Mayo Clinic - Bilirubin Test
Mayo Clinic - Infant Jaundice
MedlinePlus - Bili Lights
