The title to this post sounds like a rock band. That day was one hell of a mosh pit! My emotions were beyond jerked around. That was the day I knew I wanted this child. The day I realized how volatile life can be...one day you are semi happy, the next day life becomes a wreck.
Lui and I walked into Jo-Ann's looking for something for our wedding, I can't even remember what it was. I had been feeling good, hardly showing my pregnancy and feeling better from my morning sickness. I was also still able to fit into one of my favorite pair of jeans. As we walked down an isle I started to feel wetness in my underpants. I thought it was some discharge and I needed to buy some underwear pads. We kept walking. I then felt a gush of something come out. I grabbed Lui's hand and told him I was wet. We looked for a restroom, luckily one was near by. I walked into the handicap stall (which, by the way, is one of the dirtiest stalls in a restroom, turns out everyone likes to go to the back when they need to "go") and saw blood. Red, awful blood. As I sat on the toilet staring at the blood on my underwear and my favorite pair of jeans, I felt something come out. My heart raced. My baby? I quickly got up, pants around my knees, blood all over my underwear, and I peered into the toilet. Could that little sack be my baby? NO!!!! As I stared at the sack, trying to figure out what I was looking at, the toilet flushed by itself!!!!!! I started to scream and cry. I wasn't able to tell my baby good bye.
I walked outside, Lui had tears in his eyes. He had heard my screams. We quickly walked out of Jo-Ann's and got into his truck, we were on our way to the emergency room. I was crying in the car, describing what I had just seen. I kept saying, "If our baby is gone we will try for another as soon as we can." I could no longer envision my life without a baby. Lui had been so happy when he found out we were expecting. He had wanted a baby for a very long time. My heart broke at the thought of him not having this baby and not becoming a father.
Luckily for us we were close to a hospital. Unlucky for us, we went to the wrong building. We had walked all around the building looking for an emergency room. As I walked I felt very uncomfortable. We got back into our car and drove to the correct building. At Urgent care I described what had happened. She told me to go to the Emergency room instead, but to make sure not to walk there, that I would loose more blood that way. Damn!
As we walked into the emergency room I was relieved there were not many people there. I began to wonder what others were there for. We waited to be admitted. I also thought about what I had seen in the restroom. I thought about my life. They called my name. I walked in and they asked lui to wait outside. They took my blood pressure, my weight and lastly, my story. Having to retell the story made me tear up. They quickly asked if I had someone with me. Lui walked in and saw me crying. He held my hand. We walked to another room where we waited for over 20 minutes for the doctor to come in. Again the story was told. He asked for the color of the sack (red) and the size (small). He told me they would have to wait for an ultrasound to determine if I had had a miscarriage. We waited for what felt like an eternity. Lui and I spoke about what might happen, we prayed that the baby was OK. We said we would go to In-N-Out if everything turned out all right.
When the ultrasound person came in she told me she would take me to another room and apologized for the unusually long wait. She wheeled me off and Lui came with us. She applied a lubricant on my belly and began to look for a baby. She looked for some time. I was worried her silence and moving the wand she was using all around my belly was a bad sign. The monitor she was looking at was turned so neither Lui or I could see it. I thought she would deliver the worst news.
Then she turned the monitor and said, here is your baby. She told us his heartbeat was great and didn't seem to be in distress. I looked at Lui and we smiled. Our baby was OK!!!!! The doctor came in and told us the great news again. It turns out having intercourse can cause blood to clot. We had had sex just a few days before!! He told us no more sex until we spoke to our OBGYN (our OB told us to not have sex for a month).
After leaving the hospital after over 2 hours, we headed to our local In-N-Out, now that's what a grilled cheese and animal style fries is all about!