During my last therapy session my therapist seemed frustrated by me.
I've wondered when her life and her job would collide. She's a professional, but also a human being. I was grappling with how to feel about her seemingly frustrated tone of voice. I spoke to my husband and I was able to separate her frustration from myself. I have no control over her feelings towards me. She has never made me feel like I should doubt her ability to do her job. She was having a difficult day, a difficult case. Whatever it is, I can't dwell on it. But if she were to act like that again, I'd probably ask for another therapist,
We spoke of two things that really impacted me:
*I am not responsible for others' mental health.
I am not responsible for what others' perceive of this world. I cannot dwell on what someone else will or will not do.
*She said, "You have issues with the word 'no'"
UMMMM yeah! Angry was the way I've always been. Used to be, excuse me. I felt like I could never speak up. My voice was always drowned out by my mom's or my brother's. Today, when I feel like other people don't want to listen to me, I get upset. I judge the person, because to me, I make sense. The real problem, though, is the anger and/or attitude that came with that opinion. I can have strong opinions but cursing and arguing are not the way.
As an exercise, she told me to write down No sentences to myself and husband. Things I don't like that he does. He needs to write me some 'no' sentences too, and we will share them with each other. Just writing some sentences down, made me feel less tense. It got me to crack open my laptop.
Thankful for another day,
Kathy