Feet, YogaToes and cute toes

Finding shoes that fit properly has often been a challenge. I began my teaching career in 2008 and finding properly fitting shoes for hours on my feet was tough. Although shoes were my size, they were often too narrow. I'd walk and be on my feet all day, by dismissal I'd feel miserable. It got to the point where my toes would rub and be squished so much my toes began to change. My smaller toes had a hard callous that formed at the bottom. As I got older I developed bunions, and low arches. In elementary school a friend asked me if my foot hurt when I landed after a jump. I said they did. She told me to tell my mom and go to the doctor because she was given insoles after telling her mom. Since at a young age I knew my mother would not listen, or even worse, get mad. I never told anyone. 

That is until I moved in with my fiancé at 25. He would see how red my feet would be at the end of the day. He'd notice how much I hated wearing my shoes. He encouraged me to spend money on insoles. To find solution to my problem by searching for wide shoes. In the early 2000's wide shoes were often nurse shoes. Not stylish enough for work. But as I looked for alternatives, I found that I cold find shoes online that might fit. They were hit or miss, but it was a relief to just find shoes. 

DSW (Designer Shoe Wearhouse) became a place for me to find shoes and try them on. It always had varieties and it made me feel hopeful. When I found shoes that fit, I'd get so excited. It was like presents on Christmas day. Since leaving teaching my taste in shoes has changed. I am all about comfort! I wear sneakers. I don't care what fashion trends say, I'm taking care of my feet from now on. 

In October of last year, I was introduced to YogaToes GEMS (link takes you to YogaToes' Amazon store). It changed my feet for the better. It stretches my toes giving them relief from walking and the confinement of shoes. They changed my feet so much that I can see my toe nails. Over the years, my toes were facing towards the right on my right foot and towards the left on my left foot. I was embarrassed by my toes. Always wearing socks. YogaToes has helped me love my toes again. I have used them for four months and I am happy to say my toes have begun to face forward, a.k.a. look normal. My pinky toes still face the wrong direction, but thankfully the rest are shifting. It's made it easier to paint my toe nails! Major victory. It transformed them so much I think my feet are cute. Never thought that would be possible for me. 

If you have issues with finding shoes that fit, with the way your toes look, you are not alone. Many of us suffer in silence. Feel misunderstood because ugly toes are things to make fun of, not talk about. Well, I'm here to say that is just not the case. There are products that are helping people like us fix the problems that have plagued us. Be it wide shoes, toe stretchers or toe cushions. 

Take care, 

Kat

*Nothing sponsored 

*Link is safe and takes you to Amazon 

Marijuana and hair loss

One day I woke up, started doing my hair and realized a patch, the size of an inch, on the right side of my head was blond. I have jet black hair. Only colored it once, in high school. It was supposed to turn out blue, but it was a green and blue mess. Ugly it was, but I was young, and didn't care. What I did learn was that the process took a very long time. It required bleaching and waiting. I really had no clue. My mom always dyed her hair from a box, so honestly, I thought you could just put blue dye on my black hair and be on my way. My friend's cousin was doing it, first time I met her. 

I have been getting gray hairs in my 30's, and I love them. It's all good, you know. Will I dye my hair, not any time soon, it just isn't a big deal. That is until my hair started thinning and turning blond. At first I was in denial. I thought OK, this is a process I'm going thorough. After I noticed a bald spot in the same area, I thought to myself, "This is bad." I asked my family and they all gave me the same response: "You can't even tell." That was not good enough, either you see what I see, or you don't. They did. They saw a patch where my hair was thinning. 

My next step was to email my doctor, send her pictures and wait for a response. It came days later as a "Please schedule an appointment to see your doctor." Which lead to the discovery that my primary care doctor was no longer at Kaiser. This was in December. I decided to tackle this problem in 2022. 

Well, 2022 rolls around. At that time I decided to no longer smoke marijuana as a new year resolution. I never thought there might be a link to Marijuana use and hair loss. Apparently there is. The longer someone uses marijuana, the more there is a buildup of THC (the main component in marijuana) on the hair shaft, resulting in a loss of hair health (forhims.com). As a chronic marijuana user, reading that information was a relief. The onset of hair loss came over a period of time. I had introduced new medications to my body and was worried that was the cause of my hair loss. Reading about THC and hair shafts, and links, I thought to myself this might be the reason. 

One month after quitting smoking my hair is growing back. My hair is black and not blonde. It is thicker. Baby hairs are coming in. I cannot see a bald spot, instead I see hair growth. I feel like I'm getting reason after reason to not smoke again. I smell marijuana and I don't crave it. I hear other's speak about marijuana and I share my experience of loosing weight, being present for my kids and living my best life without it. Marijuana is fun. when April 20th (420) rolls around I might be tempted to smoke a blunt or a joint, or two or more, but over the years my use had gone from recreational to a perceived necessity. All I was doing was numbing myself. And messing up my hair. 

Have a wonderful day, 

Kathy 

Embracing how far I've come

Kids are a lot. 

There is no escaping a child that loves you and wants to show it to you. Or a child that is upset and wants you to understand their point of view. 

My children are 4 and 7. Both immature. I mean, they are kids. What do we expect? For him to stop her from throwing herself from our bed and smashing onto the metal frame of another? Nope. I will admit I raised my voice, I searched for a person to blame. After all I was doing chores. I was mopping and vacuuming. But it was my fault. I should have anticipated things. But I didn't. 

My son understood he should be more aware of what his little sister is doing and remind her of where they should be playing. And she got the wind knocked out of her and knows to not jump from one bed to another. As for me, to control my expectations, to listen and empathize. 

That was yesterday, this evening I decided to bring out my laptop. Make time for writing, for creativity. Yes, they might get a little upset that I'm not there to play, but again, I need to have time for myself. Just now I closed the door to write, they were playing in the living room, rolling a ball back and forth with their dad. But me closing the door is like a sign.

Come in, it beckons.

My son just walked in. Came to hug me, give me a kiss and check in on what I was doing. "Listening to music, and writing?" "What are you writing?" He asks. Adult stuff, hun. 

In the past that would have made me angry. Leave me alone, I need space, would have been my thoughts. Now, I understand they love me. They want me to go roll the ball with them. I get it. But I also want to set boundaries. I need time to write. Time to be creative. For months I've had a project in mind, and I just can't get to it. I don't have what I need. I don't have the time or space. My mind can race with thoughts of what I have to do. Cook, clean, play with the kids. Spiraling was a trade I was soooo good at. I would take one thought and run with it. Be a bully and demand my needs be met. I would hate with a passion; unmatched.  

My perspective has changed to being able to listen to the spiraling in my head, to talk myself off the possibility of getting upset, but also prioritize what I need to do. Not the minute details of dust and specks on the floor, instead focusing on what the big tasks to get done are. Today my house was a mess. Each room was a mess. It was making me feel, "Not good" instead of angry. Such a difference in attitudes. I asked for help. "Just take out the trash, or pick up the dog's poop" I texted. Before it would have been anger and frustration. Aggression and dominance. I cannot control others. It took me years and tears to understand. I have to reflect on myself, my feelings before attacking others to prove a point only I understood. 

I'm proud of my family. Immature and all. We are so much closer than we were. I am the glue that keeps us together. It was something I hated to think of because I felt so flawed. So messed up mentally. Today, I begin to embrace how far I have come. How much I mean to this family. I feel good. 

Thank you for reading, 

Kathy