I have been feeling fat.
It came on so quickly.
Within a month I gained 10 pounds, maybe more.
I couldn't look at the number. I did not want to weigh myself on a scale. My reasoning, it may lead me towards getting stuck over thinking about the number. The large number (I imagined).
But a mirror. Oh, a mirror says a lot, too.
I had just gotten out of the shower.
I was dreading looking at the mirror. I felt unhealthy. Lethargic.
The first thing I looked at was my mid section. My lower tummy was wide, my belly had new stretch marks. I saw my face. It had a double chin, chubby cheeks.
I went to the living room and told my husband, "You have to tell me when I start to look fat."
If he would please help me stay on track.
It was not his fault or his job.
I have had issues with food all of my life. I overate during my elementary school years.
I lost a lot of weight in high school when I began a journey of vegetarianism.
After my kids, I gained weight.
After having my kids, I gained weight.
No excuses, just a trajectory.
In April I began to tweak my eating. Less fried foods. I began to eat more salads. Eating one less slice of pizza. Little changes I knew would amount to something over time.
As workouts, I began to use powerbands at home; finding YouTube videos to aid with workouts.
After one month, I did not see big changes. I knew I was loosing inches in my midsection, but it was taking too long. Maybe it's my age, and if so, it came a knockin' fast!
So, in May I began to walk my neighborhood; again. It's a mess in Los Angeles. In my area there is a person who has a ridiculous amount of car parts. On the street and on the sidewalk. It's tires, crashed cars for parts. Next to a school. It's sad. It something you cannot escape and something I push through.
Walking 20-30 minutes, 5 times a week has helped my lower belly go down, and it's fun to have my daughter in the stroller. So for the moment I am walking around my city trying to melt the fries off.
It has not been easy, but I've managed to go down 10 pounds. Some days a few of the pounds want to creep back in, but I try to keep trucking. My goal is to feel good. And at the moment I do. Some clothes are still feeling tight, I have work to do. But I feel more confident in this journey. I'm focusing on how I feel. My health and how I am expressing myself.
I think I'm still on track with my New Year Resolutions :/
Take care,
-Kathy